I wanted to write and share today. I have written these past few months, but I have not posted. I was working some stuff out. I was invested in growth.
My little one is not so little anymore, parenting takes all of my intentionality and patience, and brain. I took on a new job! One that fills my heart with joy. Teaching psychology to college students at the university I attended for undergrad. It gave me the energy I needed to wake up and go.
I wonder if they all know how much they saved me.
I feel more myself than ever. On the right medicine, with good daily habits, friends and family so full of love and life. Resources all around me.
I am living the life I dreamed of three years ago. Everything I wrote down and dreamed up has come true. More than I dreamed of has come true. My home, my baby and his school, teaching.
Our home is decorated for Christmas. The tree is an explosion of color. Pink lights and rainbows and unicorns. Space ship ornaments and glitter and gold.
I finally refuse to change myself for others. I refuse to be small or less or just what they need. I refuse to try on one hundred different versions of myself each day. A chameleon putting on the color you like best.
I am me and they adjust, or they don’t. Either way, beautiful.
For the very first time I am not concerned if people love me. Because I love me. I really really love me.
I hope you love you, too. Because you are magic. Just by waking up and breathing and existing each day, you are a miracle.
The combination of events and stories and choices that mean you are here today? Absolute magic.
Bonnie Rae xx
Things that helped me get here: