What if everything was okay.

What if we had plenty of money, plenty of love, plenty of safety and beauty and fun.

What if the way he wanted me was filling and trustworthy, and the way he loved my baby was pure.

What if this house made me weep with joy because it was just what I had always wanted.

What if just two years after everything fell apart, I found myself exactly where I had always dreamed I would be.

Not perfect, no. Plenty of exhaustion and bickering. Too much pet hair and laundry to fold. Home projects to complete and grass that is somehow always too tall.

Not perfect, just good. Really good and safe and real.

What if for the first time in my life, or in a very long while, I am safe.

Full and content and safe.

What if I stopped running and searching and working and longing just long enough to stop and see where I am.

The place I have been looking for.

The place I knew, then lost, then thought I had built, then lost again.


More soon,

Bonnie Rae xx

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