Wonder

I love a vision board.

The process of not only planning ahead for the year to come, but also looking at the previous year to see what it brought you.

I don’t have to tell you that this year was a big one. An awakening and unraveling of nearly everything. The hardest year for some.

I am so tempted to look back on this year with distaste. To remember the pain of all that has been, but then I looked at my vision board from January of 2020.

I had pinned photos of gardens. Of compost and home grown veggies. I found toddler activities, at home games and fun to do with my growing baby. Everything I had imagined for my year came to be. I imagined a beautiful life at home with my baby and that’s what followed, although, not in the way I expected it to.

I often wonder if the universe is conspiring to get me exactly what I want, but never in the way I expect.

I’m not ignoring the pain and the hard. More than ever before I am aware of the many broken systems there are to fix, how much more we must do in order to be whole.

But I’m also choosing to see the good. I think one of the most radical and powerful things we can do is to see the beauty and the lessons in the past – without it we can not grow.

Instead of being swallowed whole by the darkness, I am choosing to wonder. To imagine what can and will be.

Who I want to be, what habits I want to instill, what I want my world to look like. The more I think on it, the more I plan and imagine and wonder- the more likely it is I will make it happen.

2020 was not the hardest year for me. 2019 was when everything felt impossible and fell apart. And that impossible year I did the same things. I imagined my ideal life, what I wanted and who I wanted to become.

And with that vision in my mind I moved through the darkness one step at a time. Doing each next right thing to get me where I wanted to go.

It’s not about comparison. It’s not about capitalism and how hard you can work or what you can produce.

It’s about you. What are your heart and soul aching for, where are you going and how are you becoming. What would the world look like if we all tried to become the very best versions of ourselves, if we focused on what would make us truly and wildly alive.

I wonder.

More soon,

Bonnie Rae xx

My 2021 Vision Board

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