One million different things

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“It is a serious thing, just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world.” Mary Oliver
I am sitting down to write and I feel…. one million different things.
We are capable of feeling so many things at once. I think it’s why we’re able to post one thing to Instagram and then in a flash, be on the floor weeping about someone else’s pain. About the pain in the world. But then, I am holding my baby, breathing in his scent and reveling in his warmth.
I post about capsules, and plants, and love, and hope and it’s all real. It’s all true and beautiful and part of me. But it is not all of me.
I am also going to therapy. Learning to love and accept each and every part of myself. I am moving. Cleaning and decluttering and breathing through the stress and the joy of this new adventure.
I am donating. I am being an imperfect advocate, trying to share when I feel it’s needed, but not perform or share without doing.
We are too often boiled down to one thing. How are you today? Only captures one facet of us.
How am I today? I am alive. I am grateful, and angry, and exhausted, and hopeful. I am wicked and powerful, I am gentle and kind.
You contain multitudes, dear one. You are of earth and stars and your ancestor’s stories. You carry a whole world inside of you, yet you live in a world that wants you to be uncomplicated and okay.
You don’t have to be. You don’t have to be okay, or just one thing. You are more than that.
This week, I am planning my fall capsule. I am being a mommy to my beautiful boy. I am moving and working and thinking. I will laugh, I will cry, I will get mad and I will forgive. I will get mad and be forgiven.
There is no limit to what we can do and be, anyone that tells you otherwise is lying.
“And I say to my heart, rave on.” also, Mary Oliver
More soon,
Bonnie Rae xx

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