“I had no idea it would be this much. I had no idea I could handle it. I had no idea how beautiful it all actually is.”
To my baby, on our first Mother’s Day.
I love you so much little one.
I love you in that big big way where your heart aches just thinking about it. I love you so much I forget to breathe sometimes. I just stare down at you not blinking or breathing so I won’t miss a single sound or eyelash flutter.
You made me a mama. You are the reason I’ve been invited into the secret club of motherhood, full of so many amazing, strong women who have gone before me.
Whoever you end up being Miles, I will love you. You are magic. You are made of love and light and I can’t wait to see all the wonderful things you will be.
You taught your dad and I how little we know about the world. We were so sure and righteous about things before we met you. Now we know how young we are- how much growing and knowing we have left to do. You taught us that little one.
Miles, whoever you grow up to be, I know you will be kind. I know you will know deep in your bones what is right and wrong and that you will act on it- even if it’s not right away. You have all of the answers to life inside of you. Adversity and challenges will bring these questions out of you but you’ve already got the answers tucked away.
Your dad and I only have one expectation of you little one, that you celebrate others the way we celebrate you. That you see the light inside all living things and recognize it is the same as the light inside of you.
Miles, you brought your mama to life. Your happiness is my happiness. You filled parts of my heart I didn’t know existed.