simple days with bonnie rae

“The butterflies he used to give me have turned in to little feet.”

Early on I would read quotes or articles about the third trimester of pregnancy. I would read about how hard it was, how everything hurts and you’re so ready for baby to come out and I just couldn’t imagine it. In the first and second trimesters of my pregnancy I loved being pregnant. I loved the clothes, the kicks, the insane feeling that I was never truly alone because little one was always with me. Two hearts in one body. I loved the nesting, the tiny clothes- I loved every bit of it.

But then week 37 happened. Did you know you can get pregnancy carpal tunnel? Me either, but my hands have been numb for five weeks so I’m living proof! I also can’t see anything below my belly which at first was the funniest most disorienting experience- where did the lower half of my body go!?

I knew I would have to pee a lot but every 20 minutes feels unfair. Breathing is hard, everything is hard, everything is swollen. Every food looks yummy and when I eat it I sound like I’m snorting it because my nose is so stuffed I have to work extra hard to breathe and eat at the same time.

I use all of my energy to breathe and to blink, that feels like enough to accomplish in one day.

The good parts of the third trimester? Baby is measured again so you have another ultrasound, you see little one’s lips and face and think back to when he was just a little soy bean- now he’s a baby! Pregnancy apps will tell you he’s the size of a watermelon or a pumpkin but he’s the size of a real life baby! You grew another human being. It’s just the most humbling, beautiful experience ever. And I’m sure it will continue to be after he arrives.

Another great part of the third trimester? You send your partner texts that are hilarious to look back on. Emotions are up and down moment to moment and our text conversations have captured this perfectly (and yes I’m texting my husband from our bed upstairs when he’s only just downstairs because getting out of bed takes rolling and grunting and a crane.)

And the very best part of the third trimester? Baby is almost here. He is fully grown and developed and ready to be in the world. I think the third trimester is so hard so that you’re really, truly ready to not be pregnant and you’ll do anything to make that happen. That anything is pushing a 7-10 lb baby out of your vagina.

My body knows how to have this baby just as it knew how to grow this baby.

Hopefully next time you hear from me our little one will be here.

More soon,

Bonnie Rae xx